Maxwell Moscowitz Revsion paper

Maxwell Moscowitz

Professor Young

ENGW 1101                  

April 30, 2015

My revision essay

               Whenever I revise a paper I am always very tedious on my revision process. I am a terrible writer and have to be careful with my spelling because I am horrible speller.  I have many different safety measures when I edit a paper. The order I go in is I look over the paper myself, then I get my friend who is a literature major to look it over. I then go to the academic support center and have they look it over once before I hand in a draft. My process is very short but very

efficient and I get the most editing done in the shortest period of time.

               Whenever I am revising my paper the first thing I do is check my sentence structure. I make sure my sentences flow smoothly and they are not choppy. I then check my transitions to each paragraph and make sure it flows properly and the transitions are smooth. After I have completed all of those process. I than check all of my spelling and grammar for basic mistakes I am a horrible speller so this part has to be done at least 3 times per draft.

               Even after all of my own edits I do not trust my own eye entirely. After I finish my own edits I got to my friend who is a literature major, and have her look it over next. She looks it over and critiques it and tells me were there are flaws. It is always important when revising an essay to have a fresh set of eyes looks at it. Those eyes will be able to see things you were unable to see.  After she finishes looking over my paper I go the academic support center and have a tutor look it over. Having my friends look it over is great but nothing beats an actual professor looking it over. After we go over it I make the nacarrey changes I then hand in the first draft.

               When I revise a paper I am looking for every mistake I possibly make. After I hand in the first draft and get it back. I do the same revising process over again. Only this time I have a different friend edit my paper to get a new set of eyes on my paper. When Revising a paper I always give my greatest effort in order to achieve.

Maxwell Moscowitz

Party!!!! Not

               Rutgers University was once one of the biggest party schools in the United States. However, it has lost this statues due to the party ban that was put in place  as a result of the death of a freshman at the university. There are many questions about how this will effect Rutgers but  focusing on  one of the biggest questions out there is more beneficial to understanding this ban. How is the ban on parties going to change the campus? Will the ban improve campus life? Will the ban protect college students from over drinking? Will the ban improve or destroy Rutgers reputation?

               The Rutgers Campus in the past has had many crazy parties that have made news headlines. Rutgers is known to be a place to go to if a student wa

nts to party and “have a good time”. However, with the ban in place the campus, it has become quieter and less hectic of a place. Some students argue that “it’s boring on campus” since the ban has been put on the campus (CITE). On the contrary, others have found alternatives to this ban through  joining clubs or training harder in sports rather than partying (CITE). With the sudden increase in free time, some students have decided to make use of their time efficiently. Fraternity and sorority are being more cautious as well and some have gone as far as to disband chapters in Rutgers that have been misbehaving (CITE)
. For an example, the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity has been ”suspended indefinitely at its Rutgers chapter” due to the death of a freshman girl at the sorority’s house from alcohol poisoning(Feeny). This disbandment of one of these sororities has made all other fraternities and sororities more cautious on how the university looks at them and tries to reduce over intoxication of alcohol of minors.

               Since the ban on parties, Rutgers has seen a significant drop in the amount of alcohol consumption .  Though students are probably drinking just as much or maybe even more than they were before, it is hiding from the eyes of the university. When trying to deny to someone something they start to want it even more than they did before.  The theory is that people like to get stuff that is forbidden to them and when someone says they can’t drink it makes them want to drink more . Rutgers might reduce the amount of parties on their campus but they will not reduce the amount of drinking. In fact, the amount of underground drinking on campus is on the rise. It is hidden from the police and public safety officers because students have become more secretive about their drinking on campus for fear of getting into trouble. If the drinking is done out in the open, it can at least be controlled so people do not over drink. Knowing that the parties and drinking have been forced underground, there is going to be a lot more people from Rutgers going to the emergency room due to over drinking because no one is monitoring the situations. “Bottom line, the university can do whatever it wants, but these kids are still going to party” (Heyboer). Not matter what the campus does they cannot stop the students from partying. On the outside Rutgers will look better, but on the inside it’s going to get a lot worse.

               Partying is an aspect that has made Rutgers to be famous. Everyone in the country has heard about how Rutgers has great parties all-year round. Their reputation is centered on being one of the top party schools in the nation (CITE). By banning the parties on the campus, Rutgers has lost part of its identity as one of the best party schools in the nation. The students and faculty have to build up the school’s reputation from the ground up and make it something new and unique one that might become centered around academics rather than partying all night . However, this can have the direct opposite . Many “students wonder if the university can enforce” the new rules (Heyboer). People are still going to throw parties on campus; they will just be hidden from the public eye. Rutgers will slowly get a new reputation of being the school that has a high level of illegal activity. Whenever the students break the rules on campus, there will be a lot more arrests rather than policy violation fines from the public safety officers,  which will make the school appear to be more dangerous. In reality, it’s just the same old thing that been happening for ages.

               Rutgers University can ban the parties and prevent fraternity and sororities from hosting them as much as they would like.  However, this will not stop individuals from doing so. However,  fraternities and sororities have learned from their mistakes and are watching their behavior, attempting to be more beneficial to the campus and its students. Due to the a lack of parties on campus, know more people are getting involved in campus activities and organizations.  People are becoming more productive and are working on the campus. Overall Rutgers students and campus will benefit from a reduction in parties. Some people might go party underground but the majority of people will learn to do other things other than parry.

              

              

Works Citied

Feeney, Nolan. “Rutgers Bans Frat and sorority house parties.” U.S Education. Web. 16 April 2015.

Heyboer, Kelly. “Reaction to Rutgers frat party ban mixed among nerberhood residence.” Mew Jersey. Web. 16 April 2015.

Good Lord Bird Sibonia Vs. Pie

The Good Lord Bird Sibonia Vs. Pie
by Maxwell Moscowitz


The Good Lord Bird by James McBride talks a lot about who is really a free person. Are those that hold the whip the free ones, or are the ones who don’t break from the whip the free ones? These questions come up all the time in McBride’s book. It is seen especially well in the differences between Pie and Sibonia. These two people both believe they are free. It can be said that Pie is freer because she has everything she wants. However people argue that Sibonia is freer because she has not given up hope and has not given in to the tyranny of slavery. Sibonia is free for many reasons and will always be freer than Pie can ever be.

               When we first meet Pie, Onion has the impression that she is the best off African American he has ever seen. However Pie in reality was less free then the slaves in the pen. Onion sees Pie abusing white males and demanding “where is my money” (McBride 144) as if she was in charge. What he did not see was the price she paid for small privileges. Pie might have status and nice things but she is trapped in the hotel. The world to Pie is the hotel and the cocks of the men she sleeps with. She is afraid and is unable to do anything else but look pretty and have sex for money. When Onion offers to help her leave Pikesville, she tells him that she “can’t go 35 feet out of this hotel without papers” (McBride 155). The truth is she can’t leave. Instead she chose sell to her soul to the white slave holder and live in bondage forever rather than take a small chance at freedom. Onion gives Pie an opportunity to escape by offering to write her a pass to leave. But instead of taking it Pie refuses and makes excuses to remain a slave. Pie talks about how she can’t leave even though the opportunity is right in front of her. Pie might have the favor of the masters, but she does not belong anywhere. She is neither a friend of blacks or whites she is a mulatto and is stuck in the middle on neither’s side similar to the color of her skin.

               Pie’s skin and beauty gives her a lot of privileges as if she was white herself. However it does not hide the fact that she is a slave. Sibionia does not need beauty or the favor of her white slave owners. She does not seek their favor like Pie. She chooses to stick with her ideals and does not compromise them even when threatened with death or whipping. Sibionia does not just want freedom for herself. She goes further and wants for all the people in the pen to be free as well. She is someone who even abused would not betray her fellow man or her ideals. She is someone who holds true to herself and in reality that is the greatest freedom of all. She has no privileges or special treatment. She is not even that pretty, however all of the slaves respect her and she would never abandon them. When she is discovered in plotting a slave rebellion she is told by the white judge, they will “beat her, whip her, tar and feather her” (McBride 163). But she does not sell them out and tells them to go ahead and do it. Even when faced with torture and death Sibonia sticks with her beliefs. She does not care what the cost is for keeping them and stands by what she believes in. This is one of the greatest freedoms a person can have. To stick with your beliefs and not falter, is a freedom so few slaves in this time could keep for fear of death. She is also really smart but her talents are not recognized because of the color of her skin.

               Sibonia is clever because she acts like she is crazy. She does this it is in order to protect herself from being discovered because if she is suspected the slave owners will just ignore her because they think she is crazy. Sibonia is able to “brush the madness off her face the way you would brush a fly away” (McBride 151). Sibonia’s “mask” allows her to go anywhere she wants within the pen without any one questioning what she is up to. When she puts on that “mask” she is free to do what she wants and talk to any of the slaves. When the white masters get suspicious they choose to ignore her, because who would want to get involved with a crazy person? By putting the mask of craziness on she is given more freedom than anyone else in the pen. If she disappears people don’t think twice about it, because “she is crazy” and they think it’s not worth their time looking for a crazy person. Even when she starts talking about freedom and the masters hear her they just ignore her because she is crazy and they think “she is just rambling”. They don’t see what she is saying as a threat but more of a joke. This mask of craziness she wears allows her the freedom to speak her mind freely; when it comes to speaking her mind she is much freer then Pie.

Sibonia is much freer then Pie in many different ways. Pie is someone who seeks favor from her master and will do anything it takes to get it. She has turned her back on her people, morals, her own identity, and her freedom to gain a better life than the rest of her people. The things she sacrificed and gave up were what make a person truly free.  Sibonia is different, she has chosen to not bend her knee to the whip, and she still holds true to herself and does not want to sellout her own beliefs to the “white masters”. She seeks her G-d given right to be free. However she does not only seek her own freedom but the freedom of her people. She will not sell out her people or go against her ideals for favors from her white master. She is truly free not matter what, because she does not sell out her ideals and chooses to live by them or die by them. The ultimate freedom that someone can have is when you’re able to stand by your beliefs until the end. It is the one freedom no one can take from you. This is why Sibonia is freer than Pie.

              

Works Citied

McBride, James. The Good Lord Bird. New York: River Head books,2013. Print.